Night talk

Have you seen The breakfast Club? No? Then have you seen Pitch Perfect or Easy A? In those movies TBC is mentioned. The Breakfast Club is one of my favorite movies made by my fave, John Hughes. It is about these five teens above and they all got detention. Where they meet, and start to talk. It is such an amazing movie, and I really recommend it for you all. This song is in the end of that movie, and I love the song aswell. It is sung by Simple Minds and if you listen to it you will have heard it before. It is very popular. 
But I did not come here to talk about movies, we will take that chat another time. Today has been boring, as it usually is when I am in school. I went home early and have been sat infront of my computer since. I have been working and doing a lot of important stuff, but for you, they are not.
I've just gotten to buy myself a little simple but wellneeded treat. Two snickers. It is such a nice snack, and as a veg. I need all the protein I can get. Plus, they are very yummie. 
This guy has not been writing all day, and I am a very strong believer in that the guy is the one to take the first step. Even though this guy is very forward. Him not writing to me does not affect me, to be totally honest. It's not really something I am thinking on. But, when I got home i started to think a little bit and no, this guys is not going to be my first kiss or boyfriend. Maybe he is the nicest person in the world, but I do have high stardards and I will not break them, not even for him. He is not good enough. 
And no, I do not mind being single. Not one bit. It is fun. 


Although it is less than an hour left of this Monday in October I wanted to check in with you guys, update you on my life and share these beautiful songs, which has been with me all night. Stevie Wonder are amazing, and this song really get me in the atumn spirit. These are all sung by amazing artist, and they really inspire me. 
Today was one of those weird kind of days, where I didn't sleep. And that made me stay home from school even though I was so into going today. Sleep really can change your day. 
A few days ago a guys wrote to me. And I wrote back. He's really nice and all, but I really do not know. Me and my bff sat at hers today talking about him, as two bff's does, and i started thinking. Maybe i have bonding-issues. Maybe the reason why no guy is good enough for me is beacuase I'm frighten of being locked up. I love being free, and not having anyone tell me what to do or not to do. I watch my friends having fights and break-ups all the time, and the tears falling down their cheeks, and i'm maybe frighten of being that girl. I don't wanna have hard break ups or feeling like I'm in a prision. My bff jut got out of a prision-realationship (meaning she didn't do anything without him knowing and saying it's alright, and she couldn't have any male friends at all) and she've told me how free she is feeling, but she was stuck in over two years. Two years she could have been free. She is really regretful, and that makes me even more scared. I'm not one of those people who wanna look back at my life and regret the things I've done. 
But love is an amazing drug, and this guy has made her very, very, very happy aswell. I've been by her side through their whole realtionship, and was it wrong by me not to tell her this was not human? That she deserved the best, and nothing less than the best. She does. And perhaps she has found it now, but in a diffrent guys, who is just the sweetest, and I can really see those small smiles she get whenever she speaks of him. She is in love. And that is what makes me wanna focus on making the realtionship between this guy and be the best. But then, there's something that makes me so frighten again. The fact that she was this in love with the prision guy aswell once. And back then he was the one who made her smile, and made her feel like she was the most beautiful girl in the world. I'm frighten that maybe, this guy i'm writing with will lock me in and make sure i got no life. I have a golden rule in friendship and love, an that is "Never change for anyone. Not friends or boyfriends. If they don't like you, leave. Don't become someone you're not" That is just what my bff had to say to me after her break up and me telling her about this boy. She is my love and i can't let anyone treat her bad, ever. 
Can it really be, that I have issues and problems I've build up and made by myself in my head? And will they make me die single? I've never had a boyfriend, and I've never even kissed anyone. This guy says I owe him a kiss, don even ask why and he wanna meet me. Ofcourse I'm not going alone, never go alone. I'll have my bff and her new bf, and maybe her sis, and her sis's bf or  more like crush. It'll be like a triple-date-thing, but the only thing that's killing me is that I'm not sure this guy is someone i wanna give my first kiss to. Or even have a relationship with. Things feel very wrong. When does these kind of things clear up? I though I was done with the teenager, chidish kind of stadium in my life, but i guess I'm not. I am feeling helpless, what should I do?

Friday is here

Hello friends.
Because, we're friends, right? I'm just kidding, ofcourse we are! 
Today it is no other day then Friday. Mine, and a million others favorite day of the week. My main reason to it is because we end school just before lunch. So, for a tired and not really woken me, that is my hope for the day. I need at least something small to get me out of bed and get dressed in the mornings. 
Yesterday, after school, I did something weird. I did not sleep. Which is so unusual for me. That was why I slept so well tonight, but that really didn't matter, up it was when my alarmclock rang at six am.
I hit the bus and met up with my very good friend, a. We were both very tired. But, in this country we get paid to go to school, and we both also love money. Wow, that just got way to real, way to fast. 
But to be totally honest, I do love money. And shopping is my religion. 
By the way, in about ten days, maybe a little less, my mother, father, me and maybe my good friend d are going to this big shoppingcenter, it's very far away, but it's so worth it, concidering the stuff there is carzy cheap. Okay, back to my day. Me and a met up with e. And us three all had math as our first class. But in diffrent classes. After.. and hour and a half of boring, half working with math we had a break. Me, a and e went downtown to buy us some candy and a had to smoke. We sat for a good 20 minutes, just talking. 
But, time travle quickly and before we knew it, we had to go back for a english lesson. We had a blast. Our english teacher are very good, and he always make sure I'm challenging myself, which is so important if you wanna become better at something. But, since we have a long week infront of us, he was very nice and let us play our fave game kahoo. Out of four times I won the last time. 
Anyways, afterwards me and e met up with j and us three went back to our old school to meet our old teachers. It surely was weird. And when I got home I started crying. I do really miss our old class, eveything was so amazing back then, now, there's problems everywere. 
But to be honest, I'm just happy as long as time is moving quickly, since after my three last years here in sweden I'm moving to england. Yes, Brighton, here I come! xx.